Posts tagged listening

Change… Really?

Jan20
2012 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

I have listened to many a sermon (well, maybe just a call to action) from the leader of an organization that started out the year with a “New year, need for change – an organizational change…” How many times have you seen the new organizational charts come out with some shuffling of the decks, or “new” folks coming in? The call is for organizational change… Can that really happen? My honest opinion is “no!” No matter what you do to shuffle the deck or add a new person to the organizational chart will do nothing. What does it take for “real” organization change? Think about that for  a minute. I think we all have ideas about that. Well, here is my take…

Look at yourself: If you want change you have to be the first one to step up and make the change that you want. How many times have you watched the leader say, “we need to change and here is where I think we need to go”? This is the one area that we can learn from those that have failed in the past. I really feel that the change starts at the top. I used to tell my team, “hold me totally accountable. If I am failing, tell me!” Step up and lead.

It is a two way street: Make sure that you are making it more than just a powerpoint presentation. Have open and honest communications with your team. I know we all have seen the nice slides and gotten some charge out of them, but when you want to go deeper, there was nothing deeper. Make sure you have open lines of communications.

Make that change – obtainable: It is easy to look at something that is so far out there. We all like to have visions of grandeur, but please be realistic. Make sure that everything that you want is something that CAN happen…

Get the troops involved: If you really want change, you better figure out how to include your team. Setting expectations is something we all have to do. There is no question about that. It is important how you include your team in that process. The most successful changes that I have witnessed have one thing in common, everyone was standing together around the vision. Start small and encourage them. The rest will follow, especially if you have done the first 3…

Don’t rush the troops: It is always easy to push for results. Be patient, please. Take your time and encourage your folks. Failure is always just around the corner, especially if you rush everyone. Stand firm, but remember that patient is a virtue.

I bet there is always more that one can do to make sure that the change that they want, will happen. From my experience, these are the things that I need to have to look at. Do you have anything to add?

Photo… Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

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Job Search: My Point of View

Nov18
2011 4 Comments Written by Steve

Some of you know that I have decided that retiring at this time of my life, is not for me. Still have plenty of time left on for a solid second career. I have read plenty about the state of the economy and the job market out there. For me, I have been isolated from that because I worked at my last place of employment for 28+ years. My journey to starting that second career has been an eye opening experience.

How so:

  • 40 is the old 50: Back in the day, people in their 50′s used to find employment difficult. My research has indicated that the threshold has moved to 40′s. So, for me just tipped into his 50′s, I get to face a bigger challenge.
  • Don’t think that your old paycheck is going to be your new paycheck:  For anyone that thinks that they are going to see more (or even about the same), you better check your expectations at the door. I met a few folks in my networking that complained that they were offered positions that were $20K less than they made doing exactly the same thing they were doing at their last place of employment. I never thought that I would be making the same amount of money I was, that would be expecting too much. I do expect to get a fair wage for the work that I am going to be asked to do. Nothing more! I have done the research on-line  and feel comfortable with the salary expectations that I will likely see.
  • Experience is key: I have had a diverse background within those 28 years, but even that sometimes excludes me from working in a different industry than before. Since I was in corporate America, I am less likely to get a social sector job. Since I was in manufacturing of semi-conductors, I am less likely to get a manufacturing job in pharmaceuticals. Since I was have management experience in information technology, I am less likely to get a management position in call centers, warehouse operations or logistics. I know this from the simple email back on my resume, “you don’t have experience in XXX.” I did not have experience in those areas before I started either.. I can learn, I can take the experiences that I do have and apply and adapt. I am a bright and capable person.
  • There is a black hole in cyberspace: No matter how many times you apply there will be times that you just will not  get an answer. I am not sure that the job application and submittal system the companies are using work as they should. Since most have some sort of automated system, you would think you would get a message that informs you of status. Have your application, reviewing your application and rejecting application. I have seen the received message from many of the applications I have submitted. After that, well, what for it; nothing.

So, what to do:

  • Get out and make contact with hiring companies: Linkedin does a pretty good job of contacting your network to job openings. They even have recommendations for who in your network that can potential help with the hiring manager. I have done a little digging and have been able to actually reach out and touch folks. The are so many social tools that can help you. Some would say this seems like stalking, not if you do it right. Reaching out in a professional manner about potential openings or even openings that you have seen could help you get passed the black hole.
  • Don’t act your age: Stereotypes are out there for a reason, well most of the time. If you are older, than don’t act older. Have the energy and drive that the hiring folks are looking for. Get formal with the new social tools and network. Don’t think that they will come to you. You have to want it! I have heard from some of my friends my age that it is tough out there, those younger job applicants are stealing all the jobs. Well, if you want to beat them, than you better act like them (and you have one better – you have the experience to back it up).

I have been fortunate enough to get passed the black hole a few times. I have been called for interviews! Nothing sounds better than hearing a voice on the other end, ask you if you would like to come in an interview for the position you have applied for. You pretty much walk on the clouds after that call. Reality starts to set in.. Time to get prepared. Clothes all dry cleaned? Haircut? Research the position? Company? Get your questions in order? Get prepared! The last couple of times, I have made it to the short-list of candidates (more interviews). Then you sit and wait for a decision to be made and hopefully in your favor. I still have not gotten that message that says – “Congrats – we would like to hire you.” I will keep on trying.

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Leaders Born or Created?

Nov08
2011 2 Comments Written by Steve

The few days back, I saw a tweet go out that asked are leaders born or can they be made. Just two days ago, I overheard a discussion at the local Starbucks on this topic. I have heard many different arguments over the years. I go with both! When I was coaching youth sports, I get the opportunity to witness first hand those young folks that are born into leading. The experience that I am going to share comes from coaching youth hockey ages 7-10. There was always one or two players that just stand out from the other players as leaders. Many of my peer coaches would say that they are their best players and lead by example. Which probably is the case more times than not, but I had a few rare players that were not the best players but were the best communicators and team mates. At those ages, they did not really have any time to learn how to do that, they just did it. It comes natural. When I look back and then look towards today – those leaders are still leaders, just doing it in different places.

I do think that some training and coaching of people to be leaders is possible. In the workplace, you get to interact with many different folks, some standout for their potential in leading a team. From  my experience I have seen both sides of the spectrum. Those folks that have the ability, but really want nothing to do with leading. They prefer to just do what they are doing. Other folks want to be leaders, but frankly, don’t really demonstrate the initial abilities or characteristics necessary. Having discussions with both sets of folks is interesting. For me, I want to make sure that my teams are set up with secession plans. I want to develop my folks to help them achieve their dreams. Here is where I believe that training and mentoring comes into play. Everyone has a blind spot or two that needs attention. When you step into a management role and really want to do well, you need some training. You really need someone to help you with highlighting those blind spots and putting focus on the “right” areas. Training and follow-up will help lessen the blind spot. For me, leadership is something that is a life-long learning experience. There is always something new to learn or find out about yourself.

Leaders need to be honest, have a demonstrated track record of success, be excellent communicators, place an emphasis on serving those they lead, be fluid in their approach, have laser focus with a bias toward action. Some of those items come natural. Others can be helped along. So, when I hear or see that question about are leaders born or created, I go with both…

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Is Your Team Successful?

Nov02
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

One of the most frequently asked questions that I got during my training days of “New to Management” was around how do, as the manager, know if my team is successful or not? Great question for managers to ask. I used to think that I had a good team that was delivering their on the objectives in a timely and cost efficient manner was a very good indicator of how well things were going. Sounds good, but there is so much more. No one every really likes to answer a question with a question, but I wanted to use the complete class to brainstorm what a successful team could look like. Off goes the question… “what is your view of a success team?” Here is what followed..

  • A team that works together to accomplish whatever is set in front of them.
  • A team that works whatever hours are necessary to accomplish their goals.
  • Hitting their numbers, pushing product and doing a quality job.
  • The team gets along.
  • Someone in the team sees a problem and the team handles it.
  • Each member of the team is pulling their own weight.
  • Team is not afraid of failure, as they can accomplish anything they set their mind to it.
  • I as the manager, do not have to be “too” involved. The team understands that they are empowered.
  • Work gets done, on-time and within budget.
  • The team helps each other out.

These all sound pretty good, right? I can remember in my early days as a manager thinking if my team was to accomplish these or a subset of them, I felt pretty good. I used to hear from my management that my team was the best one of all of the teams in the department. That was not enough, as upper management to me, is not there daily or in the trenches when work is getting done.  As I gained more experience with managing teams, I started to really look underneath the surface and see how the team was really working together. Asking myself, how does the team accomplish the work that is set out in front of them? What is the overall commitment level of each and every team member? Do they really work together? What motivates the team members to do new and interesting stuff (innovation)? I started to develop my own scorecard for success of the teams that I led.

  • Getting the work done in a timely and cost effective manner – this still is the overall measure of success. That never changes as this is the most visible to the complete department. Getting your work done. If you don’t you won’t be around much.
  • Gauging the overall free flow of ideas and information – having great discussions about how to improve, how to do stuff better, or what is really happening. Having a team that shares the good, bad and ugly when it comes to team self reflection. Doing this in a constructive and not threatening manner. Working the problem rather than focusing on the individual.  The discussions were pretty lively and listening to them build on each other’s thoughts, made me see that a complete diverse team is better than a set of individual’s. Where I worked we used to do a yearly plan for the upcoming year. I used to include my complete team in this exercise. Set up some basic assumptions (budget and rev 0 goals) and what the team work together to set the plan together. The overall ownership of that plan was strong among the team. I usually had to point out that we must not try to do too much, we realize that year over year stuff happens, we must be flexible.
  • Balanced workload – for all team members. It is an easy thing to say, but in practice very difficult to manage. Here is where the manager really has to know what is going on with each individual on the team. Is there too much work being loaded up on all, too much on a few or not enough on some. The team members want to do a good job, they really want to receive praise and better raises and doing more work than the others seems the easiest way to demonstrate worth. Not good for the team.
  • True development plans in place for everyone. “True” development plans require much work from the individual team member and the manager. The team member needs to be honest in what they want to do, how they do it and what do they want to be when they grow up. What is their passion? The manager than becomes the coach and helps to develop a plan that works for the individual and the team. Sometimes the individual’s passion is not within the team overall direction. The manager has to make sure to balance and do the best in every situation. I have had to help get new positions for my team members to insure that the best of the employee, team, department and company were winning.

Some of these items can be measured by metrics, but most of them are more on how you know the team is doing. Spending time with the team in different ways. Being an observer during meetings – rather than talking 100%. Facilitator during planning meetings – rather than telling what will get done. Walking around the office, listening to the team working together – rather than sitting in your office. Asking questions and listening to the answers – rather than assuming you know what is happening. It is easy to take control as the manager.. You may even think that is why you are the manager. Observe, listen and act when necessary – that is truly what your team wants.

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Sign of the Times?

Oct25
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

This past month has been a pretty interesting one for me. I have heard and witnessed some things that just make me think, “Do you really mean what you just said?” I am seeing a trend that is making question the overall importance of gathering feedback. I believe that I have had over 5 different occasions of someone that was providing a service say that you will be receiving a survey and please make sure to give me good scores. At first, I just thought maybe the first person, was just trying to be cute and is really warning me that I will be getting a survey (email or call). This happened time and time again… What gives?

Does the company really use the feedback? If their employee’s are already asking or telling to make sure that they get good feedback. What does the company get? Do they really get the right level of feedback from the customers? Is this really a good indicator of the service level? There are so many questions that my head was spinning thinking about this post. Since I was a manager and feedback to me was important on the employee side, my first thought was to that any feedback that was solicited this way is really void of meaning.

What does that employee get? Does the company reward their customer service reps by the quality scores? Maybe that is how the bonus or salary structure is for the employee. Hence, part of me, would definitely see why they may want to solicit positive feedback. Again, putting my manager hat on, I would have hoped that each customer service rep would be doing the utmost best work with each client. Insuring that a positive experience was had by all. So, that when the survey does come out, the client would remember that experience and share in their feedback.

What if no survey is submitted back? My first thoughts now when I hear, “make sure that you provide good feedback on me from the upcoming survey?”, is to not fill out the survey at all. Why would I? Seems like a waste of time. Then I think back to the person that did this and see if they really did provide a positive experience? No shame in filling out a positive survey, if a positive survey is warranted. Maybe that is tied to the pay of the rep! If that person has done an outstanding job, both the company and rep should know that.

Are we setting up a quality system to fail? Seems to me, if I am getting a heads up on the survey and how I am supposed to respond, then that particular system is broken. Don’t you think so?

Here is my plan from now on…

  • I promised to fill out all survey’s. With the information from my experience.
  • If the rep uses any phrase that highlight’s how I am supposed to react to the survey – they will get the scores from the experience. With one big comment at the end, the fact that I was asked to respond positively toward the survey.
I hope that this new trend or “sign of the times” is quickly removed from all service folks pitch. There really is no need to warn the customer or client about how to respond. Just seems wrong.
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Need a Leader Checklist?

Sep08
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

I started looking over my leadership and managing teams blog posts and started to notice that I probably should put an overall leader checklist to it. I have had the extreme privilege of leading many different teams and organizations. When I first started out, I used to think about what I would want to see… Since I was an ace-doer that was promoted to supervisor – I had a good feeling what I as a member of the team would want to see from my supervisor. Over the years, I have expanded my reach and experiences. No longer was an ace-doer for the organizations that I belonged. I was hired not for doing the work, but leading the team to get the work done. I needed to change and add to my start up of those teams. Reflecting back, I started to see that checklist come to me.

Here is that leader checklist:

  1. Articulate a vision: Formulate a clear and persuasive vision and communicate it to all members of the team. Most organizations may already have a vision statement or mission statement. Look it over. Ask your team to communicate it back to you. See what is missing and come up with that vision that fits the team, organization and you (as the leader).
  2. Think and act strategically: Get ready to make your vision a reality. Time to set up goals that achieve that vision, both is the short and long term. Don’t forget to consider all the players and anticipate reactions and resistance before they are manifest. Being prepared is key to success.
  3. Honor the team: Frequently express your confidence in and support for those who work with and for you. Use your team to help with every step you take.
  4. Take charge: Make sure to set up a workplace environment that is about action (getting stuff done).
  5. Act decisively: Make good and timely decisions, and ensure that they are executed.
  6. Communicate persuasively: Communicate, communicate, communicate. Easier said than done. Look for ways to insure that communicate happens and people never forget. This is one area that I have experimented everyday of my life. Just make sure that how you do it is simple and the messages are clear.
  7. Motivate the team: Set up a workplace environment that your team can not wait to come to work. Enjoys getting their work done.
  8. Embrace the front lines: The one thing that I remembered before I was a supervisor was how most supervisors did not spend anytime with the team. They did not let the team do anything other than run the equipment. I promised myself that I would never do that. Including the team is something that I feel is necessary for success.
  9. Build leadership in others: Develop leadership throughout. Have no fear in losing your folks to higher opportunities.
  10. Manage relations: Build enduring personal ties with those who look to you and work to harness the feelings and passions of the workplace.
  11. Identify personal implications: Help everybody appreciate the impact that the vision and strategy are likely to have on their own work and future with the firm.
  12. Convey your character: Being yourself. Make sure that in everything you do (communications and actions) should point to who you are. Your team should get to know you – through you.
  13. Keeping it real: Make sure that you never let over-optimism pop into your team. Success breeds success, but watch out threats, unresolved problems and taking unwarranted risks.
  14. Build a diverse team: Leadership is a team sport.. Make sure that your team is willing to be leaders in their particular area. Make sure that your team is not clones of yourself, get and welcome a diverse team.

Walking into a new situation or team can be a little scary. New anything gets the heart pumping. I look forward to these opportunities. Makes me think back and reflect (and practice) my checklist… Try it!

Posted in Leadership, New To Management - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Motivating

Aug23
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

image from Flickr via jk_photos

I have been thinking about his topic for awhile, motivating your team. When I was asked in an interview about how I motivate more team, I tried to answer it this way. “Motivating the team is a bit tricky. I don’t think that the manager has the responsibility to motivate their employees. They need to create an environment that is motivating to their team. Motivation is more internal. I like to insure that my team has the work environment that helps them be motivated to do their best.” Okay, before you go and attack that answer – there is more to the answer – just coming a bit later on. When I think of it is the manager’s responsibility to motivate his employee’s – I think of my time as a coach of youth sports and my time as a company commander in a training company.  We all have seen coaches that are in your face – either cheering you on or screaming instructions to help get you to do what you want. I got some up close and personal experience watching drill sergeants motivate their trainees (see picture). Is that motivating? Would you like to have that be your manager’s style at the office? I believe that the successful coaches are the ones that have instilled an outstanding work environment that helps the player to motivate themselves. Much like my answer.

Getting back to my answer.. I really think there are some fundamental items that I like to insure that my team environment has…

  • Open and Direct Communications : How many times have you heard, “I didn’t know that?” Or maybe, “if they would just communicate with us, we could get that done?” Old school management.. Tell your employees just what they need to know, nothing more, nothing less. Well, that does not work! Never really did.. Be very open and direct in your communications. Tell them everything. What harm is there in doing so? This also will help your employees see that they can tell you stuff as well. There have been many times I have learned something from them that I did not think of – just because we had a open and direct communications.
  • Set a Good Example: As the manager, you really are out front and your team is watching and listening to you. It may sound silly, but how you present yourself in the beginning of the day will set the tone for your team the rest of the day. I know that not everyday is going to be perfect.. There will be something that happens (either at home or on the way to work) that will challenge you to be positive. You have to check all that before meeting your team.
  • Saying “Thank-You”: Doesn’t cost a lot to say thanks for a job well done. Times are tough this days, not everyone has a budget to help out with giving away cash, gifts or raises. Saying “thanks” goes a long way. I learned early on, that I truly perked up when I was given a thank you. Hand written notes, email or just hearing the words worked for me. I started insuring that I did the same for my folks (they like it too). When times get better – or when the time is right – step up that thank you to something more (gift cards, cash, lunch).
  • Give your time: What do you really have as a manager – your time. So, give that time to your employees. Work with them to build a solid working relationship. Help to understand what their passions and goals are. Help them develop and grow professionally. Your time will be well spent!
  • Get dirty: I used to really enjoy getting in there and helping out from time to time. When I was in manufacturing, we had a senior manager that made it a priority that all supervisors and managers would work on the manufacturing line at the end of the month. Clear your calendars, get trained and do the work that your teams do! I looked forward to it. Watching the senior managers work along side the team – was a eye opening experience for all. Roll up your sleeves and do what the team does.

When I left the interview, and was driving home, I thought of a couple of more items that I do that just did not come to me.

  • Look for some fun volunteer activities: I had this one time, that really rallied around one cause. We happened to have a team member that had a child with a disability. We wanted to help – so we decided to step away from the day to day work – to help out with the school that this team members child went to. Everyone was excited to help out. We had a great day! You could see your team in a different environment and watch their interactions. It was an eye opening experience for everyone. Plus we helped out a school in need. I am always looking for those opportunities.
  • Tie everything to the big picture (without losing sight of the little picture): Making sure to tie the work that the team is doing to the companies big picture. The little picture is really the team as a whole. We all like to know that we are working on something bigger than ourselves. Make sure to paint those pictures!

There is no silver bullet for motivating your employees. Don’t look for it. Spend time working on your team environment and maybe that will help you to increase the internal motivation of your employees.

Posted in Leadership, New To Management - Tagged , , , , , ,

Mixed Messages

Jun27
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

Mixed messages, have you ever gotten any? As a leader, I bet you never think that you have communicated any. In today’s world we have mixed messages everywhere… They come in the form of visual and verbal.

The visual one’s are sometimes extremely funny!

  • How about when you see a person wearing a “Smaller is better t-shirt” and that t-shirt a XXXL and it is tight on the person? Sitting in the food court of the mall…
  • Ever go to the beach and sitting on the bench are people in normal beach wear (swim suits, sun glasses) and one bench down there is a person dressed for winter (long pants, winter jacket and a wool knit cap)? Which is it…
  • Posted signs do this all the time – How about the “Not an Exit” posted on door – with the “Exit” sign right next to it.. Just look around – I bet there are plenty more examples.

The one’s I really want to discuss in this post are the ones that we get as employee’s or maybe give as managers. More verbal in nature. How about these examples:

  • Performance message that goes like – “good job, but…” The old but sandwich! I wrote in detail on making sure that as a manager you don’t do this.. Check it out!
  • Ever hear – we need to be the best at providing top level quick  customer service (get your respond time down to seconds rather than minutes). In the sentences to follow – the staff is hearing make sure that you take the time to make the customer feel important. Listen to them, relate their words in your communication back.
  • The mission statement says we are going to provide a top level superior education using the best practices to provide an A+ rating. Really wanting all students to work hard, continuing to grow academically and challenging themselves everyday. Sounds good.. But when it comes to providing academic achievement awards – everyone needs to get one (we do live in that world today – everyone needs to get a trophy).  How many top learner’s were there in the class (25/25).
  • Another performance review, but this time it is going over team goals. Using data is a great thing – using the right amount of data is a tricky thing. I happened to work in a group that had data for just about everything. We reviewed it monthly. Each metric had a goal… Where the mixed messages came into play – is when two or more competed with each other. Example – on time delivery, quality and on-budget. It is extremely funny to listen to the managers talk about them, ask questions and then redirect. Great job on 100% on-time delivery, but we had a missing in quality or the cost was a bit too high. Again – that “but” sandwich.

Plenty of this goes on! How do we stop sending and receiving these messages? For me – I do a couple of things…

  • Never use “but” in a sentence… Practice, practice and more practice. I have told my employee’s that if I use “but” they have the opportunity to call it out. Right away!
  • Confused are you? Then ask questions.. I pretty much get confused when I first hear something that is sending a mixed message. It is like my radar – so, stop and get clarity. Ask questions to help you get the understanding necessary to move in the right direction.
  • Call it out! Here is where trust comes into play. Having a good working relationship with your team can make this really easy. Using a sports analogy here – having a way to call foul (or penalty, or throw the flag) is necessary. This opens up the discussion – no one is at fault – we have something that needs to be cleared up.

 

Posted in Leadership, New To Management, Observations - Tagged , , , ,

Pressure Moments – How Do You Do?

Jun16
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Steve

As a leader of your team – many eyes are on you from many different angles. You have your team, your manager, your support groups and even your customers. How YOU behavior is important. Decisions can be tough.  Everyone can do a pretty effective job of leading their team if there are no pressures. Working with your team can be difficult at times.  Some key contributors are out. The team is just not getting along as well as it should. Overloaded “to do” list can really make meeting your deadlines a bit tough. There are some many more pressures that can hit you that can make anything seem impossible. Your words and actions during these times are what is truly key to your success as a leader. Remember, everyone is watching.

How do you normally react doing those tough times?

  • Maybe a little short with answers to questions?
  • How about frustrated when things are not going right?
  • Start micro-managing your team?
  • Little slow with answers to tough decisions?
  • Take a day off when a key deadline is due?

Hopefully you did not say yes to any of these behaviors. These were not made up examples, I have seen them throughout my working career. I can almost put a face and a name to each of them. As I have written in past blog posts, learning from ours examples (both failure and success) can be very helpful to you in the future. I have taken those bad examples above and changed up how I perform under extremely pressure.

What I typically do is:

  • Insure that the pressures that I am under are not outwardly visible to my team. I try to maintain my positive and cheerful attitude everyday that I in the office.
  • Sometimes this is extremely difficult, at the very least, I communicate to my team what is going on. Letting them know the pressures and how they can help, usually is a good thing.
  • Come in a bit early and stay late if needed. I always like to get in early to help me with quiet time. Helps me focus on what is important. I want my team to understand that I am here, no matter what.
  • Prioritizing and delegating workloads. Work assignments may need to be shifted in order to meet some extreme deadlines. Asking the team their input on how best to accomplish this has been helpful in the past. Sometimes, a team member may have a skill in something that they don’t especially care for doing, but when times are tough – they step up and get it done.
  • Pressure situations need to bring out some creative solutions – more minds working on that creative solution the better.
  • Most importantly – Be myself! At the end of the day, your character and being true to yourself is what matters. If I am not happy with myself for any reason – I am the only person that can fix it.

How best do you handle those pressure moments?

 

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Sometimes Change Is NOT Good

Mar11
2011 2 Comments Written by Steve

I guess because I am an older person, with many years and experiences under my belt, that I have seen a few things. Some of those things have changed and significantly over the years. The one that I want to write about today is just plain personal. I can remember from the very first time I went off to school – elementary school and the experience has carried me through my kids going through school and now since I volunteer a lot – I get to witness it daily (with other people’s children).  The title of the blog post is “Sometimes Change is NOT Good” for a reason. I know we need changes in our education system – I truly understand that.. But, the change I want to focus in on is teacher, student and parent. Why? Like I said, years of experience…

Let’s look at this relationship. We can all agree that it takes a village to raise the children. Especially, parents and teachers when it comes to education. Don’t forget the main ingredient – student (your kids). The relationship over time has changed significantly. Let’s look at my experience -

  • I went off to public school back in the mid to late 60′s and graduated in 1977. I know I am dating myself.. But that is okay. It is a frame a reference! I am not going to tell you I walked uphill in the snow both ways – we all know that is not true, but I did walk to school (and the winters were pretty cold – Canadian border upstate New York). Well, back to the topic; parent, student and teacher relationship. My parents taught me the teacher is right, always right. They are very important and you need to listen to them and do what they tell you. My parents attended all scheduled conferences and shared communications as needed. When I acted up or didn’t get along with a classmate, a call or note would go home – and I was 100% at fault, no questions asked. My parents would tell me, what is your side of the story.. Here was the trick I learned later on – they were baiting me to lie. Fact is they sided with the teacher 100%.  Back in that day, corporal punishment was allowed and I got my share (I liked to be the class clown).
  • Fast forward some to when my kids attended school, 80′s and 90′s. Times were changing some. Teachers we used to see get out and about (we did see them eat in public). They even shopped! I never knew that growing up.. When my wife and I used to discuss the importance of a very good education, we shared that the teacher is a very big part of your success. Listen, work hard and do what you are asked to – these were the important points. Along the way, we had some issues with how things were going. We never once attacked a teacher for anything. We would sit down and work out what needed to be done. I was lucky, my kids were gifted students - they set high goals for themselves and worked hard. Sometimes the school would only focus on working to the middle (or on getting students to passing). When my kids got their calls or notes for behavior issues – we sided with the teacher more times than not. Rarely did we take the stand for the kid. Did I bait my kids like my parents did? Some…
  • Fast forward again to the 2000 and 2010′s. I have seen an increasing number of challenging of the teachers on the simplest of things. Let’s go back to the behavior issues examples. I have witnessed an increased focus on the teacher as the cause of the behavioral issue. Not a complete 180 degree switch – but the first step is to agree with the child’s words. Which puts the parents on the offensive when meeting with the teacher. Upset parents coming to the aide of their kids… Making excuses or defending the behavior – it can not be my child that did it.. Why has it changed? Do we think that the 9, 10, 11 year old is right over the teacher?

Like I said, in my day, my parents accepted the teacher as gospel. When my kids went through school, I was definitely more supportive of the teacher. I can only remember one time – that it was definitely not my child that was at fault, but was there – guilty by association (make a better choice). Watching what I am seeing today scares me. Maybe it was me not being like my parents – 100% support of the teacher no matter what.. Helped to pave the way to what I see today.. I hope not. The village has to raise the kids – it is time for the kids not to raise part of the village. Sorry, but if you are a parent that supports your child 100% over the teacher in all matters, ask yourself one simple question. “What does the teacher gain from what you just heard from your child?” I think that will help put into perspective who has something to gain…. Working together for the best for the child’s future.

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